


Embrace for impact.

by K01_B01



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst and Romance, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 01:21:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30030852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/K01_B01/pseuds/K01_B01
Summary: “After all that you diid thiis, I trusted you, and you fuckiing betrayed me. Do you expect me to just let that go because you kept me aliive? ii'd rather be dead out there than have to take any crediit for thiis.”“Oh drop the heroic act, it wwould havve ended up like this anywway. And don't you start on that “you nevver lovved me” shit. It's not like our time together meant nothin’, You wwouldn't be here if I didn't take a liking to you.”
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor/Karkat Vantas





	Embrace for impact.

**Author's Note:**

> there's some implied and mentioned death throughout :/

“You..”

He trailed off, still in shock of what he was just told.  
  
“No, no, you couldn't have actually…”

The other man in front of him turned his head towards the window, outside was a wasteland. There were no traces of life beyond this building they were in.  
  
No, no this had to be a dream or something, fuck but this felt so real. You can't feel someone's hand on your face when you have a dream.  
  
“I could, and I did. Don't wworry Sol, you're safe here.”  
  
He dropped to the ground.

“Safe..?”  
  
His blood boiled.  
  
“iim safe? ii'm iin the same room wiith the same troll who just kiilled thousands, most of them were iinnocent. forgiive me for not feeling too safe.”  
  
“I wwas just doin’ wwhat i was ordered to do. besides, you wweren't out there, wwhy should you care? You didn't knoww most of them anywways. You can havve anythin' you evver wwant here wwith me. I promise its better this wway.”  
  
“Your fucking crazy.”  
  
“Oh don't start actin’ all innocent noww, you helped.”  
  
How fucking dare he, he had nothing to do with this. He would never help him do this, how dare he fucking imply he had anything to do with this.  
  
“Oh dont you fuckiing start on that! iif you got anythiing from me you had to pry iit-”  
  
“You told me evverythin’ I needed to knoww to shut the entire rebelion dowwn. I didn't evven have to use any manipulation. You told me, royal commander, just wwhat to do to make them fall. All I did wwas send out the order and it all came crashin’ dowwn. So wwhat if a feww more lowwblood’s died in the process? I got the job done, and as a rewward for being of such great help I evven kept you alivve. I'm being vvery generous by doing that Sol, I wwouldn't take that for granted.”  
  
He raised his voice, speaking over what the other male had begun to say. It left him in a slight bit of shock. He opened his mouth in an attempt to rebuttal but nothing came out, so he just closed it again.  
  
“Wwhat? Nothin’ to combat that wwith?”  
  
All he could do was stare at the ground and hold back the tears that began forming in his eyes.  
  
_“Thought not, you should havve been more careful.”_

“After all that…”  
  
He finally choked out.  
  
“After all wwhat sol?”  
  
The other spoke expectantly.  
  
“After all that you diid thiis, I trusted you, and you fuckiing betrayed me. Do you expect me to just let that go because you kept me aliive? ii'd rather be dead out there than have to take any crediit for thiis.”  
  
“Oh drop the heroic act, it wwould havve ended up like this anywway. And don't you start on that “you nevver lovved me” shit. It's not like our time together meant nothin’, You wwouldn't be here if I didn't take a liking to you.”

"ii hate you."

He spat, yellow tears now rolling down his face.

"sol-

"No- shut up! ii hate you. ii hate you!"

"Wwe both knoww you don't mean that."

" _Can't you see that's the problem!?_ "

Sollux woke up in a cold sweat. He shot off whatever cold thing he was laying on, hitting something hard in his way up and knocking it to the ground. He looked around frantically trying to recognize his surroundings.

"I wwas reading that asshole."

He looked down towards where the familiar voice had come from. Eridan. panic flooded over him freezing him in place, his eyes still locked on the troll under him. though Eridan was not looking back, instead he was reaching for something a bit away from the couch he was laying on. It was then he became acutely aware of the position they were in. sollux was sitting on eridan's lower chest, his own legs on either side of him pretty much keeping the smaller male trapped under him. That calmed him slightly, he felt a bit more in control of the situation.

Sollux quickly glanced over at what the violet blood was getting. A book, probably one of Eridan's books on war history. He had recently become a bit obsessed with war strategies and history, Though his Interest was nothing new.

Eridan looked up at him after retrieving the book. 

"You look like shit, evven more than usual. Wwhat wwas all that about?"

That wasn't the same Eridan. He didn't have the scars, he was younger, he hadn't done anything. This wasn't the Eridan from his dream, it couldn't be. This was _his_ Eridan. 

"ii… ii don't remember." 

Eridan raised his brow.

"I'd expect wwith that kind of reaction you'd knoww something."

"ii was falliing, ii thiink?"

"I didn't knoww you wwere afraid of heights Sol.”  
  
“Neiither diid ii.”

relaxed a bit seeing eridan believed his lie.  
  
“Do you care if i showwer before I leavve? Your hivve smells like shit and I'm afraid it rubbed off on me.”  
  
“Yeah go ahead.” 

Sollux moved off of the smaller troll and let him get up. Eridan left the book on the couch and looked back at him once more.  
  
“Are you sure that wwas all?”  
  
“No, ii’m sure there's more, ii just don't remember. How long was ii out?”  
  
“2 hours or so, Nothin’ crazy.”  
  
Sollux nodded and looked at the ground. He felt Eridan's eyes linger on him longer before going off to shower. As soon as his footsteps faded he let out a sigh.  
  
“Fuck.”  
  
He rubbed his hands through his hair and just sat there a moment with his head in his hands.  
  
That wasn't the first time he had that dream, each time he got more of the story. So far what he had gathered is that he was fighting against something, today he was confirmed to be in a rebellion. That was good, it connected to the other dreams. Eridan seemed to be fighting with them, he had shown the violet blood how they operated, and most of their plans. He had complied and shown he was trustworthy to not only sollux but a few others he had not recognised. Eridan seemed a lot older, as did what he gathered of his own appearance. Though he had no way of checking himself for sure, when he looked in mirrors he just wasn't there.   
  
Eridan had done something to the rebellion this time, but he wasn't sure what. Given the reaction he had, the rebellion was destroyed and sollux had (indirectly) helped do it. 

These dreams never happened at random, he had to be sleeping on eridan for it to happen. He was able to do the same thing with karkat, but that story had stopped a while ago. This dream explained why. The dreams he had with karkat told a story that now directly correlated to the story he got from karkat. In those dreams sollux had run away from someone, some kind of servitude from what he could tell. He ran away because karkat had helped him get away, and as a thank you he started protecting him. Karkat convinced him to start a rebellion with him, one to end unfair treatment of... Some... group? He couldn't remember who. His dreams finished with them becoming moirials and gathering more and more people who agreed with them, this pissed off some ruler of something, the details of her were fuzzy. Then the story stopped suddenly. Everything was black when he fell asleep on karkat, there were no dreams. He finally understood, there was no more karkat in the story now, now he was taken by eridan in some twisted form of gratitude.  
  
Now it made sense. 

sollux shook his head and got up. He looked around a moment before spotting his husktop on the end of the couch. He grabbed it and sat back down. He opened it and searched the files for a moment before finding one he wanted to work on.  
  
Coding had always come naturally to him, though most gold bloods could do something similar. This gave him a distraction from the real world and let him just focus on the code. Unlike what some people think this isn't something you can just do while thinking of other things, you have to stay focused on this at all times. If you didnt you would fuck somthing up, or if you worked with the things sollux did it might fuck you up. That's why he loved it. Maybe avoiding everything wasn't the best course of action, but he took on what he could. Before long sollux was too wrapped up in his work to really be paying attention too much else. 

Eventually his attention was grabbed when a hand was placed on his shoulder.  
  
“Are you listenin’ to me?”  
  
“What?”  
  
Sollux looked up at eridan. His hair was still damp from the shower, he also looked a lot moore relaxed.  
  
“Did you hear anythin I just said?”  
  
“Nope.”  
  
Eridan let out an agitated sigh.  
  
“Im leavvin’.”  
  
“Ok? Do you want me to alert the mediia or some shiit?”

“No, I'm just telling you before I go. I figured you’d wwant a heads up about bein’ left alone after earlier.”  
  
Sollux just nodded before going back to what he was doing, though he knew the other didn't walk away yet.  
  
“Sol,” Eridan began.

He looked up at him yet again.  
  
“Hm?”  
  
“Wwhats going on?”  
  
“What do you mean?”  
  
“I talked to kar a feww minutes ago, he said you nevver had nightmares that bad wwith him.”  
  
“Careful ED, you miight giive off the iimpressiion you're worriied about me.”  
  
“I am, sollux.”  
  
Well shit. He never dropped the nickname. I guess this actually was serious.

"Waiit, really? Why?"

"You nevver remember them, but you only havve 'em wwhen you're wwith me. That suggests it's a subconscious issue I remind you of,"

He clearly hesitated, as they made eye contact finally.

"Or it _is_ me."

"iit's not you Eriidan."

"If it's subconscious you wwouldn't knoww-"

"iit's. Not. You."

Eridan was quiet for a moment.

"Are you sure..? After wwhat's happened betwween us I knoww there's a shit ton of stuff under the surface and-"

"Eriidan."

Sollux moved his husk top off of his lap then he cupped the others face in his hands.

"We're workiing on iit. We're a lot better now then we used to be, theres still lots to work out, but iit's not you who caused thiis." 

"Then wwhat is it?"

He sighed

"iits going to sound crazy."

"I guarantee I'vve heard wworse, try me"

Sollux looked down.

"Not today, ii want to get the full story fiirst. There's stiill more."

"Wwhat story?"

"iit's hard to explaiin."

"I'm stayin’ until i get an answwer."

"Can we please talk about thiis later?"

"Sol, you're deflecting."

He let go of Eridan's face.

"Fiine. your not allowed to ask anythiing more than what ii tell you."

The other waited expectantly as sollux hesitated. Where do you even start with this? 

_  
Oh yeah I've been having these weird ass dreams where we fall in love and I end up helping you kill my moirail and the rest of the rebellion along with a few thousand others In the area because you had no disregard for them. But oh don't worry I'm still alive, you did it while I was with you because I'm your Matesprite I think? Yeah that's about it._

He can't say that, it would sound crazy. 

“ii've been having these dreams when ii sleep near you. ii used to have them wiith karkat too, but now iit's just you. They all connect and I want to see how iit ends, the last few have been tense. Sounds stupiid riight?”  
  
“Wwell wwhat's goin’ on in the dreams.”  
  
“ii said ii'm not answering any other questiions.”  
  
“Wwell noww you’vve got me interested.”  
  
“Cool, ii’ll tell you about iit another tiime.”  
  
Eridan huffed.  
  
“Fine. another time, but im holdin’ you to that.”  
  
“Mhm, weren't you leaviing?”  
  
“Right, yes, ill be on my wway noww.”  
  
The shorter male got his book and walked out.  
  


That could have been worse. That's how most things with the two of them went these days. It wasn't great, but they were doing alright. It was one of those ok things. It was a nice thing, but it would only last for so long. There was always something that came up that karkat forced them to hash out with each other. Sollux couldn't really be mad at him, he was their auspice.  
  
Karkat wasn't the best auspice out there by a long shot, but he was exactly what the pair needed to make things healthier. Though if you can make a toxic kismesis pairing into something somewhat civil then you're doing good. Of course there was a lot more that needed to be done, but that was fine. It was something, and this something worked. 

Things had improved to the point that they were able to hang out alone without either of them nearly dying, most of the time their fights were not bad either. That didn't stop Karkat from being on standby, Until he knew one of them left he was ready to go at the first sign of trouble. One of them would check in every 20 minutes or so to let him know they were doing alright. Things were better, but they weren't fixed, they still were not trusted in a black-rom alone yet. 

If things kept going the way they were maybe they would be soon.  
  
But they would never have anything close to what they had in the dreams. Not how they were headed. That was fine. Sollux was alright with being Eridan's kismesis, it's how they worked best.

Though that thrill of their red feelings in the dreams made him envious of what they had, he knew he couldn't find that with someone else. They wouldn't be eridan. Even if they did the same things in the same ways it would never be the same, it would never be authentic. It would be a bad copy of what he had seen. Even with the more recent dreams ending in fights, he craved the kind of love they had.  
  
Fuck maybe he did want somthing more, but he would take what he can get. Maybe they still could do some of those things. It just wouldn't be the same.  
  
Part of him craved the feeling he got from those dreams, the other wanted any feelings from what just happened to rot, and Sollux was caught in the dreadful middle ground.

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it this far thank you for reading! i promise everything will start to make sense with the dream stuff in the next few chapters. Don't forget to drink some water! have a good/better day or night!!  
> ~K01


End file.
